Pamela J. Kowal, M. S.

I circled around Dangar Island, off the beaten path and feeling a little lost, yet joyfully taking photos of caves and wondering about the rituals and magic that they have held.

A man happened by, asking me if I had seen the aboriginal etchings. No, I hadn’t. But I had heard of them just that morning.

A native, he took me up into his yard and beyond – to the top of Dangar Island where he relayed the stories of Aboriginal tribeswomen making this island their own up until a couple hundred years ago. The energy of the etchings, the rocks, the caves on that seldom-trodden part of the world was profound. That I could have this conversation with this kind man, this connection about and on such a powerful place — my heart burst.

Getting lost, I found renewed energy and a source of inspiration. How often do we let ourselves get lost and be open to what wants to be found?

I’m acutely aware these days of the process of deconstruction that is essential for true growth. It’s so easy for me to hide behind a role – therapist, friend, partner, daughter. But when those roles are gone by choice or otherwise, how do I then allow my True Self to emerge?

Embracing chaos in life: this allows me to let go of the ego and personality structures that are in place that give me a false sense of security and stability. By allowing a process of deconstruction, I am making more space for the Divine to enter my heart, my body, my soul.

By embracing the gift of deconstruction, I open myself to what is true today at my core. I open to what wants to come into my life. Without my ego telling me what I ’should’ be or do or want, I am allowing a higher knowing to take residence in my being. From that space, a greater good surely unfolds.

“The Real Revolution is Love.” I saw this painted on the wall of the New Paltz, NY, yoga studio I attended class at this week. A succinct statement of what I believe to be true.

I’m starting the new year at my cousin’s home…. a week of ‘extreme self-care’ after a couple months of intense decision-making and life reconfiguration, or as some of my friends called it, preparing to jump off the cliff.

In October, the seeds of thought I’d been watering for a long time in my deepest heart sprouted: my intuition told me that I was ready to let go of Compass and my home for a period of time to see what else is calling me in the world. At first I called it a sabbatical. In some ways, it is. But I now realize it’s more than that.  I’m seeking a way of life that allows more fluidity, more heart, more of a flow that works with my internal desires versus external pressures.

I have absolute faith in the notion that as each of us learns to live in alignment with our own heart desires, we are inspiring one another to grow (maybe not even gently!) and thereby, serving the Greater Good. So as I begin my journey, I wonder: How will my path of being authentic to my inner yearnings support you on your path to do the same? How can we continue to support one another in the real revolution of loving ourselves enough to be true and authentic, and watch the sparks of interconnection grow?

A friend sent me the link to this Star Tribune article yesterday, on a day when I was wondering what I’ve gotten myself into by launching into the unknown world of SabbaticalLand.

Put things right in perspective. And got me pointed in the right direction again: choose Love over Fear. Every day and in every way. Enjoy!

Who would walk away from a perfectly good job in this economy?

Erin Geiser did on Friday. After 27 years, more than half her life at Arc Greater Twin Cities, Geiser brought in caramel rolls and clementines for the staff, packed her boxes and kept Kleenex handy for teary goodbyes and a pesky head cold.

“If this wasn’t my last day, I would have called in sick,” joked Geiser, 53, who has secured health insurance through a broker, cut cable to the bone and may take on a housemate to make ends meet.

She has loosely mapped out the next six months, starting with sleeping in on Monday and ending with a trip to Europe with one of her two adult sons next summer. After that, who knows?

But while the lovely Geiser bears a resemblance to Elizabeth Gilbert, hers is no “Eat, Pray, Love” adventure. The best-selling author stepped into the world to face her fears and, ultimately, tame them. Geiser is way past that.

“A lot of things I just was so fearful of … I don’t care about anymore,” Geiser said. “I used to have a fear of flying, because the plane might crash. That fear went away. I have different expectations about what life is supposed to be.”

Life was generally as it was supposed to be until three years ago, when Geiser’s father-in-law died in his sleep. She and her husband, architect Michael Schrock, were in Fargo for the funeral when Michael, 53, was hit and killed by a truck as he walked from their hotel to his parents’ house.

“After Mike died, everyone said, ‘You’re so strong.’ I think I was in shock,” she said. She fought grief-counseling, then relented and was helped tremendously. Then Geiser’s mother, with whom she talked every night at 9 p.m., died from cancer last February.

Soon after, Geiser gave Arc six months’ notice. She had little idea what she would do; only that the classic cliche was true: Life’s too short.

Geiser managed Arc’s Value Village thrift store in Richfield until three years ago, when she was promoted to general manager for all four stores. She was a natural and thoughtful leader “who is leaving a legacy,” said her boss, Laurel Hansen, Arc business director. At her 20-year anniversary with Arc, employees handed out WWED (What Would Erin Do?) bracelets.

‘Really celebrating’

“I’m not leaving Arc because I didn’t love my job,” said Geiser, walking the halls in funky patchwork Oilily boots from — where else? — Value Village. “I just need more time. Working 50 hours a week, I don’t have the time to do what I want to do.”

That list begins with “really celebrating Christmas this year,” followed by a wedding in Denver over New Year’s, two weeks in Florida with her father in February, a six- to eight-week road trip in the spring from New Mexico to California to Vancouver Island, and a summer trip to Belgium, Germany and Spain with her son, Haven, 21, a college senior studying film. Her 25-year-old son, Atlee, is working at McMurdo Research station in Antarctica.

She also plans to read more, continue in a drumming group and take classes at the Minnesota Center for Book Arts. “So many of us just walk the treadmill,” Hansen said. “Erin was listening to her inner voice.”

After graduating from Goshen College, a small liberal arts school in Indiana, the adventurous Geiser moved to Minneapolis in 1983, influenced by “Mary Tyler Moore” and a mistaken belief that the city was closer to family in Winnipeg than it is. She started working at Arc soon after.

She and Michael, whom she met in college, married in 1984. After his death, her parents stayed with her for three weeks.

Mike left her with enough money to cover Haven’s schooling and her mortgage, she said. She’s found “incredibly expensive health insurance with a high deductible,” which she notes is a reality “a lot of people have to deal with all the time.”

She plans to keep her 5-year-old car running, and “will pay attention” to her savings.

Ready for sacrifice

She’s kicked her kids (lovingly) off her phone plan. “No more texting,” she said. She plans to eat more simply and is talking to neighbors about a “food group” in which they share cooking. She’ll give of her time, instead of money, to nonprofits she supports. If she can’t find the right roommate, she might have to sell her house which, she admits, would be “the ultimate sacrifice.” She’s ready.

“I had a life with Mike, and we raised our kids, and now I have a new life,” Geiser said. “I’m still a mom, daughter, friend, but I can be so many other things, too. I think I will be able to find satisfaction with whatever I do.”

On Monday, she slept in, then made a pot of coffee.

“After that, I watched the sun stream in the windows,” Geiser said. “And it was beautiful.”

Gail Rosenblum • 612-673-7350 • gail.rosenblum@startribune.com

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Howard Thurman

What makes me come alive? Seeing people overcome their challenges… doing the hard work required spiritually, emotionally, and physically to let their Lights shine. My life is joyful and “Lively” because I’ve had the privilege of watching beautiful, courageous people expose their vulnerabilities and learn to not only overcome, but to fly.

Over a year ago, I was having coffee with my brother in his Australian home, ocean waves calling to us. He posed a question and made a comment that stuck with me: “Why don’t you work here a couple months out of the year? It may be the best thing you can do for yourself and your clients, and the world is bigger than your four office walls.”

That conversational seed germinated to what it has become today. Why not be with my loved ones in various locations, as long as I can stay connected to the clients I’m also ‘traveling’ alongside? Mobility and flexibility: aren’t those traits part of a foundation of human resilience? Global access: isn’t that part of the wonder and privilege of being alive in this amazing time?

It’s time for me to honor the next seeds of growth and see what blooms.  I’m off on sabbatical for four months that will take me to Australia and other destinations to be determined. My intention is to explore new ways of practicing that align with my philosophies, spend time in creative and spiritual pursuits, enjoy family and friends, see more of the world, and to ultimately incorporate more of my passions into the services I offer you. In other words, to come Alive in new ways.

A part of me is nervous … I’m temporarily giving up a beautiful office, saying good-bye to a building and concept I helped create and maintain, and opening myself to the unknown.  Another part of me is joyful and excited beyond measure… I know that when one person takes a risk, it only sparks the next one to do the same. Afterall, each of you have taken a risk with me to become vulnerable and grow in new ways. It’s only fair that I return the favor.

And so I ask you, What makes you come Alive?

“Who we ourselves become, how we grow and change and face the challenges of our own lives, is intimately and causally connected to how the world will change over the next few years.” – Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change

I’m rereading Williamson’s book right now; it seems appropriate for the time we’re in. These are stressful times, and those of us – all of us – who are compassionate, energetic beings, pick up on the collective angst. I believe the best thing I can do to help others is to make sure I’m helping myself first and foremost. If I’m not aware of the depths of my own emotion and doing the work of sitting with it and identifying what I most need, how can I possibly be of service to others? Isn’t this exactly what I am hoping to teach others and support them to do?

I am learning that in spite of intense transition, it’s not an option to take care of my body, my mind, my spirit. It is essential. I intend to maintain my daily discipline of meditation, journaling, walking, eating soulful food. I won’t do it perfectly everyday, but I value myself, my loved ones, and my clients enough to do it consistently enough that they are getting the best Pam I can be. For today.